greenrose18 (greenrose18) wrote,

Одна из моих уважаемых френдш сейчас проходит практику в сумасшедшем доме. На эту тему вот вам что-то забавное:

Answering machine at a Mental Hospital:

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline
- If you're obsessive-compulsive, press repeatedly.

- If you're codependent, please ask someone to press  2  for you.

- If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6....

- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.

- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
mother ship.

- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
which number to press.

- If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
no one will answer

- If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969696969.

- If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden

- If you have post traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y  & 
c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

- If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep or after the beep.  Please wait for the beep.

- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9.

- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are busy to
talking to you.

- If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on fan, lay down & cry. You won't be
crazy forever.

- If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Tags: funny

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